According to Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk, the way of changing the way we feel is by becoming aware of our inner experience and learning to befriend what is going on inside of ourselves. That’s a lot different than holding your truth back from others in order to manage their responses. It is important to understand that you have the high responsibility to share truth with grace and allow someone else to share a different thought even if it scares you. You might not be able to predict how another person will react so it is valuable to give space for a reaction that might not be what you desire. The other person has a right to react but you also have the right to share the truth. Giving one another enough space for both is of high value. So feeling safe in a relationship requires work on your part as well which means you might not always hear what you want to hear and that’s okay.

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