Why is it so hard to listen sometimes?
Why can listening to someone else trigger things within us?
Why does it take work to quiet our minds down to listen to another person?
Did you know that listening actually takes practice? Although we know how good it feels for others to listen to us it is hard to offer it to someone else. Especially if we don’t agree with what they are saying. But yet, when we are listening it is not about the listener it is about the talker. Guess what? Listening to someone say something we disagree with does not make us unable to understand their perspective. To listen is only to offer understanding not complete agreement. Yet it is hard at times. Before going into a difficult conversation take a moment to do some helpful tips to calm the brain down:
Breathe (take several deep breaths)
Lower your shoulders
Relax your jaw
Notice your triggers and reassure yourself its okay to listen to a different perspective
Bring down your defenses
All of this will help you to grow into a better listener. Remember, listening is a free commodity that you can offer those around you. You might be surprised at how much healing listening can actually do.
Next time you are trying to listen notice what you are telling yourself, notice if you are looking for errors, notice if you are constantly thinking of a response rather than listening to understand the talker. Working on your ability to listen can change your relationships.
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