Last week was the first class of my Coping Skills class at Scottsdale Bible Church. It was so encouraging to meet so many women who are interested in becoming healthier versions of themselves! Last week we talked about self awareness. The definition of self awareness is: the conscious knowledge of one’s own character, feelings, motives and desires.
Self awareness is the first step to developing good coping skills. Truly knowing yourself and why you react the way you do, can be instrumental to changing your thoughts and behaviors. But how do we become self aware?
Just simply thinking about ourselves isn’t related to truly knowing ourselves. In order to get to know ourselves, we must ask some questions. The problem is that we tend to ask ourselves “why” questions, when getting to the bottom of an emotion or a life changing event. “Why is this happening to me?”, “Why don’t they like me?”, “Why can’t I just be happy?”.
But here’s the thing, “why” questions lead us away from the truth. Asking “why” creates alternative facts. It can lead us to a self inflicted depressive cycle of thoughts.
Asking “what” questions instead of “why” questions is how you can gain a healthy form of self awareness.
Asking “why me?” after a tragic event can lead to self loathing and negative thoughts. Asking yourself questions like, “What is most important to me?” after a life altering event can lead toward more fulfillment during a time of mourning or loss.
During a time of feeling rejected, it is easy to ask yourself “Why are people so mean to me?”. Instead, change the question to “what about all the people who are positive in my life? What about my personality are they attracted to? What are they not attracted to? What needs to change?”
CHANGE “WHY” TO “WHAT”.
“Why” questions lead us to destruction.
“What” questions move us toward the future.
Looking forward to another great class tomorrow morning at 9am! See you there! Live well!