Resilience is a learned behavior that all of us can develop. Resiliency takes flexibility as you deal with stressful circumstances and traumatic events. Here are some tips on how to become more flexible in difficult times:
Let yourself experience difficult emotions WHILE also realizing the need to avoid experiencing them so you can continue to function.
Take small specific actions to deal with your problems WHILE also meeting the demands of your daily living.
Spend time with loved ones WHILE also nurturing yourself
Rely on others for support WHILE also increasing your reliability on yourself.
As you allow difficult circumstances to build resiliency in you here are some things you can do to grow:
• Accept help and support from those who care about you.
• Change how you interpret crisis. Avoid seeing the crisis as insurmountable. Find small ways in which you might already feel somewhat better.
• Radically accept your circumstances that can not be changed. This will help you identify what can be altered.
• Make small realistic goals. (“What is one thing I can accomplish today that will help me move forward?”
• Take decisive actions. Choose to act upon the situation and not detach from the circumstance.
• Find opportunities for self-discovery. Identify areas of yourself that have grown due to the circumstance.
• Develop a positive self-view of yourself. Be aware of your internal talk and what impact it has upon you (I’m strong enough to get through this”)
• Keep things in perspective. Allow your circumstances to create spiritual resilience within you. Avoid unhelpful thinking styles such as catastrophizing (“my life is over I will never be happy again.”). This is not the end of the story
• Take care of yourself. Exercise regularly, do things that you enjoy and take time to be with people that are encouraging and supportive.
• Maintain a hopeful outlook. Try visualizing what you want rather than what you fear.
Resiliency is created in difficulties, suffering never goes unused.
Live
Well
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