This week in our coping skills class we learned the important coping skill of connection and communication.
There are a lot of studies and research on the science of love and connection. Dr. Sue Johnson explained the exciting findings of these laws of love. There are four laws:
1. Love regulates our sense of danger
2. Love, and being connected with another person, makes us stronger
3. Love gives us emotional attunement
to another person
4. When love is healthy, there is mutual reaching and responding. When love is unhealthy, there is pushing and demanding. The partners turn away from one another to numb hurt which increases disconnection.
Emotional pain and physical pain are both registered in the same part of the brain. So when you are disconnected from those you love and depend upon, your pain is real. Learning to identify the disconnection and working on connecting with your partner is worth the effort. This might take something like counseling to learn how to have those deep vulnerable conversations with your intimate partner. It takes practice but you will be glad you put that effort in.
Communicating is a big part of connection. In the incredible Ted Talk by Louise Evans she taught her “5 chairs 5 choices” concept called, “Own your Behaviors, Master Your Communication, Determine Your Success”. (Look it up if you want to watch a great ted talk). This is a very helpful tool when working on communication with your loved ones.
Lastly, we learned about empathy from Dr. Brene Brown’s video on “Empathy vs Sympathy”. In her video she says, “Rarely can a response make something better. What makes something better is connection.” This is an important concept to remember when a loved one is going through a trial. Connection is one of the most helpful things we can offer to one another!
See you next week as we move along through our coping skills for LIFE! 🙂
If you are interested in bringing this talk to your group, church, school, or company reach out for more information by messaging me.
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