PROBLEMS
We all have them. It seems like just when one problem goes away, another one shows up. Then there are those problems that just always hang around.
Today, I thought I would share another DBT skill for solving a problem. Marsha Linehan says there are really only 4 ways to solve a problem.
1. Solve it. Do something to solve the problem (but some problems are unsolvable)
2. Feel better about the problem (change the story about the problem, pray about the problem, change your emotions about the problem, be thankful for what the problem is teaching you, etc)
3. Tolerate the problem (This involves radical acceptance not approval but acceptance you can refer back to our radical acceptance post) Accept the problem as it is without giving excuses or reasons why it’s there.
4. Stay Miserable (believe it or not, some people choose this answer. Many come to counseling desiring to be affirmed that their problem is miserable but they never to apply any sort of skills to the situation).
That is a fast way to break down a problem. It is helpful if you continue to ruminate about the same problem to see what you are caught up in. You might notice you go to “stay miserable” a little too easily. But hey, awareness is the first important step to solving the problem. You have to know what you are doing that is causing the suffering to last longer.
If you are interested in learning more coping skills I invite you to the Scottsdale Bible’s women’s bible study every Tuesday morning from 9 to 11am starting September 10. I will be teaching my Coping Skills Group! The class is only $20. for the entire semester. We will review tons of skills that can help you tolerate or feel better about your problems. Would love to have you join!
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