There are several things a parent can do when an adult child expresses their negative experiences from childhood. The one most important thing is to LISTEN.
Making amends requires: taking responsibility for past harms even if you have a different perspective. And learning to show empathy for your adult child’s perspective and feelings. This takes insight work and a willingness to identifying what comes up for you.
Tara Westover in her book Educated wrote, “I know only this: that when my mother told me she had not been the mother to me that she wished she’d been, she became that mother for the first time.”
Motherhood is a long journey of self-understanding, forgiveness, and willingness to constantly create something new. Your journey isn’t over just because the kids have grown up but it does require new skills.
A new class is coming soon on creating new relationships with adult children. It will discuss changing your parenting style, how to detach from their choices and how to stay attached in love, and how to deal with emotions that arise when our adult kids make choices that disappoint us. Comment below if you might be interested. 🙂
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